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A Door I'll Never Enter — H.C. Turk
THESE ENTITIES:
•A man whose smile can stop the sun.
•A woman who is Mother To All.
•A guide sent to bring them together.
ARE ALSO:
•A man created to destroy Earth.
•A woman hired to bear his assassin.
•An automaton sent to ensure their success.
BUT APPEAR TO BE:
•A man who never returns shopping carts.
•A woman with a bad job on a worse vacation.
•One of the Little People.
COMING TOGETHER, THEY TRAVEL TO:
•A farm where interstellar comets are grown.
•A sunken ship being raised to the surface of time.
•The core of Hell, where the torture is tickling.
THEIR GOAL IS TO:
•Write a shopping list that makes sense.
•Fix her broken fingernail.
•Find a hidden pot of watermelons.
THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS ARE:
•Giving a face to ultimate doom.
•Finally getting a call through to Luna.
•Bonding with fruit.
A cross-genre literary novel of contemporary fantasy, magic realism, and jaw-dropping hilarity, A DOOR I'LL NEVER ENTER follows the adventures of Bill, Jane, Dan, and their interstellar comet (disguised as a watermelon) as they travel from kitchen sink to cannibal canoe in search of a Leprechaun's pot of FAIL. Finding friendship on the way, they learn that failure might be best when the goal is ultimate destruction.
•A man whose smile can stop the sun.
•A woman who is Mother To All.
•A guide sent to bring them together.
ARE ALSO:
•A man created to destroy Earth.
•A woman hired to bear his assassin.
•An automaton sent to ensure their success.
BUT APPEAR TO BE:
•A man who never returns shopping carts.
•A woman with a bad job on a worse vacation.
•One of the Little People.
COMING TOGETHER, THEY TRAVEL TO:
•A farm where interstellar comets are grown.
•A sunken ship being raised to the surface of time.
•The core of Hell, where the torture is tickling.
THEIR GOAL IS TO:
•Write a shopping list that makes sense.
•Fix her broken fingernail.
•Find a hidden pot of watermelons.
THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS ARE:
•Giving a face to ultimate doom.
•Finally getting a call through to Luna.
•Bonding with fruit.
A cross-genre literary novel of contemporary fantasy, magic realism, and jaw-dropping hilarity, A DOOR I'LL NEVER ENTER follows the adventures of Bill, Jane, Dan, and their interstellar comet (disguised as a watermelon) as they travel from kitchen sink to cannibal canoe in search of a Leprechaun's pot of FAIL. Finding friendship on the way, they learn that failure might be best when the goal is ultimate destruction.
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