The Lump of Coal — Lemony Snicket

Forget Frosty the Snowman or Ruldolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The next great holiday hero is a small, flammable chunk of barbecue fodder. He's impeccably dressed, he's terribly grumpy, and he's looking for a holiday miracle.

It's unmistakably Snicket - here's the opening line:

This holiday season is a time for stoytelling, and whether you are hearing the story of a candelabra staying lit for more than a week, or a baby born in a barn without proper medical supervision, these stories often feature miracles.