Catawampus Tales — Bob Frey

Catawampus Tales run the gambit from science fiction, The Incendiary Man, to horror, Zombie Fight Song, satire, Supermale's Gone and Left Us, and everything in between. Each story is somewhat askew or catawampus-a mixed-bag of fast food for the mind. What if there really was such a thing as a superhero? What problems might he or she face? Supermale's Gone and Left Us, a tongue-in-cheek satire, provides some humorous answers. A horny bachelor goes looking for a streetwalker and inadvertently gets into a shoving match with a gangbanger. The gang's revenge and a bizarre ending anchor the action in When Push Comes to Shove. A nerd wakes up in Sugar and the Bikers in a room in which he did not fall asleep. A peevish individual who is having lunch in the apartment informs him that he left the nerd's pretty wife downtown with a couple of bikers. What is the nerd's plan of action? Steve, a college student, fights over a girl and cold conks his adversary. The next evening they battle again. As often as Steve levels the creep, he rises and shuffles at him like one of the living dead. Zombie Fight Song relates the perfect cure for a womanizer. The workplace makes for strange bedfellows in Oh, That Catherine the Great! An insecure young man at lunch with his boss and two other male co-workers encounters some strange conversation. Trials of a Vampire Hunter begins where most vampire tales end. A vampire hunter is apprehended by the police just after he drives a stake through his quarry's heart. His defense attempts to prove that vampires exist and the slaying was a justifiable homicide. A shy, little man is miserable because he lacks the ability to make Small Talk. How does he overcome his social ineptitude? In The Incendiary Man, a group of people are on the run from a fiery monster. Funny thing is, nobody seems to be aware of this menace but them. What does the story mean, and what does the Incendiary Man represent? Idle hands are the devil's workshop in Unemployment Benefits. An immature, out-of-work daydreamer buys a Saturday night special and plots a murder. After, to his surprise, there is no mention of any such crime in the press. Did he really kill someone or was it all just a pipe dream?