What If I Am? — Bert Whittier

Brian Ferguson is having a pretty good seventh grade year (unlike last year). The middle school years are when a lot of us begin to figure out who we are. It's also a time when we really want to fit in, but fitting in and being who we are do not always go together. And that's when things can get pretty complicated.For Brian pretty complicated doesn't begin to tell the story. He has always sort of known he was different, but in sixth grade, he figures out how to name it: He's gay. I can deal with this, Brian tells himself. He's sure of that because it's going to be his secret. No one else will ever know, not at school, and certainly not at home, but after someone starts calling him names, all his plans change.Eventually Brian finds a safe place where he can be himself. Together with other kids like him, he figures out what really matters.Until, that is, the group decides to go on a weekend canoe trip, and something terrible happens. Brian and his friends have to deal with their worst nightmare in an unfamiliar and dangerous place. But as it turns out, that may not be the greatest challenge they face that weekend.