The Tough Guide to Fantasyland — Diana Wynne Jones

HAVE YOU EVER:
Lost your companion in a bog?
Had trouble identifying a member of the Assassins Guild?
Been unable to communicate with the local dragon?
Had a hard time figuring out the difference between Dwarfs, Ores, Gnomes, and Trolls?

Fear no more--help is on the way!

Whether you're a first-time visitor or a veteran Fantasyland traveler, THE TOUGH GUIDE has everything you need to get the most from your Tour, including: what to do when you're captured by a Goblin, where to find a Healer when you're stricken with the dreaded Plague, and how to obtain the Magic Sword which will protect you from those pesky Barbarian Hordes.

This authoritative Adept to Zombie guide constitutes an essential source of information for all who dare to venture into the imaginative hinterlands, providing acute insights into such mysteries as: the varying types of Virgin, why High Priests are always Evil, why Dark L9rds invariably have Minions, and why Cooks all have filthy tempers.