The Loon — Shannyn Leah

Who says just because I'm old I have to be a fuddy-duddy? I still like to have my thatched cottage prodded by my silver fox's Action Jackson.

My daughter calls me a sex addict. Well, she's a prude. I mean, I am sort of a sex addict, but what I do with my Netherlands is none of her business.

Lucy walks around here saying her life is C-O-M-P-L-I-C-A-T-E-D.  Did I spell that right? My eyes aren't what they used to be. Anyway, I try to make her life as easy as possible. She doesn't thoroughly appreciate my wig-wearing, drug-selling ways. Those little blue pills make me a shitload of money. Not to mention, the appreciative smiles I get from men sporting a boner.

Now, if I could keep from getting arrested and having to bribe the men in blue with my stash, or the promise of a little funky-funky on the side, my profits would soar.  Then again, I've rather enjoyed the handcuffs I stole from them…

Warning: If you are looking for a sweet, sensitive book with a happily ever after, this isn't it. It is a totally inappropriate book about a completely dysfunctional family. The F word flies free along with many other curse words. Feel free to get drunk (because the Davenports sure are!) while you're reading it, and prepare to wet yourself laughing. If sex scenes are not your thing, this book might not be your thing. But, if you have a crazy sense of humor and like raunchy comedies - you're in the right place. Join in on the craziness of The Crazy Rich Davenport Family.