The Lagoonies of Lagoonieville — B.R. Emrick

Someone in the La-La Land of LagOOnieville is a national war hero who refuses to expose himself to anyone, including a Hollywood big-shot who wants to make a movie about the hero. At the same time, a disgraceful man who was in the Vietnam War-as a stage dancer-has been frightened to tears by the hero, and the only way he can forget the traumatic event is to kill him. Hollywood, and an old actress, the mother of the disgraced man, travel the Caribbean in search of the hero. Hollywood offers $100,000 to learn where the man is. The actress offers the same amount to a New York mobster to find and capture the man so her frightened sixty-year-old son can do whatever he wants to the meanie who threatened her precious little boy. Meanwhile, the Lagoonies are planning a Leaky Boat event, which is a drunken free-for-all boat race where the only rule is: "Unnecessary cheating will not be tolerated." But all is not monkey-business; as usual, as the deadly voodoo Bolivians discover their arch-enemy, the Lagoonies are hiding out in LagOOnieville.