The Fugitive Pigeon — Donald E. Westlake

Meet Charlie Poole, a Canarsie bartender, couch potato, and one of the biggest nebbishes in Brooklyn. When two hitmen come after him, he's totally baffled and suddenly on the run.

Now Charlie has to learn how to handle his Mafia Uncle Al. (Point with a gun, not a finger, and threaten to tell Aunt Florence everything.) He has to learn how to deal with a beautiful woman who saves his life. (Telling the truth is good; making love is better.)

And he has to do the very things he has been avoiding all his life: stand up for himself--and leave Brooklyn for not only Manhattan, but the Bronx, and Staten Island, too.