The Fucking Zombie Apocalypse — Bryan Smith

Our story this time around involves a guy named Phil. Phil went on an epic bender last night after breaking up with Crazy Sue. And now he's waking up with the mother of all hangovers. But that's the good news. Crazy Sue has called and left a message. She has Phil's hamster, George the Magnificent, and she's threatening to squash George if Phil doesn't come back to her. She gives him an hour to make his way back across town to her place. Still in a drunken daze, Phil bolts from his bed and heads outside, at which point he runs headfirst into yet another complication-the f***ing zombie apocalypse has started. But Phil loves his rodent buddy and he means to get to Crazy Sue's place-whatever it takes.