Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, The Teenage Dirtbag Years — Paul Howard

So there I was, roysh, class legend, schools rugby legend, basically all-round legend, when someone decides you can't, like, sit the Leaving Cert four times. Well that put a focking spanner in the works.

But joining the goys at college wasn't the mare I thought it would be, basically for, like, three major reasons: beer, women and more women. And for once I agree with Fionn about the, like, education possibilities. I mean, where else can you learn about Judge Judy, laminating fake IDs and, like, how to order a Ken and snog a girl at the same time?

I may be beautiful, roysh, but I'm not stupid and this much I totally know: college focking rocks.