Real Vampires Live Large — Gerry Bartlett

It's not easy to keep a boyfriend, run a business, and survive for centuries as one of the immortal dead...

It was hard enough when a sexy Scottish vamp bit me while I was feeling a bit...bloated. But when a frustrated vampire hunter firebombs my vintage clothing boutique, I'm ready to pitch a fit. Then my long-time, some-time lover takes off in a rage to hunt the hunter and prove himself worthy of me -- or something manly like that.

And now the Energy Vampires want me -- and not in a good way. They're paranormal drug dealers, selling hard thrills to those who've been living forever -- and they want to suck me dry. But it'll take more than a few super-suckers to get the goods out of this girl. And if they want to make things personal, I'm going to make things downright painful...