Pirates of the Retail Wasteland — Adam Selzer

Leon and his miscreant buddies from the gifted pool are mad as hell, and they're not going to take it anymore! Their favorite downtown coffeeshop, Sip -- the only survivor in the barren moonscape of decrepit Old Downtown -- is in danger of being run out of business by the ubiquitous and oh-so-corporate coffee chain, Wackford's. Wackford's doesn't host readings or smell funky or support the arts the way Sip does -- it's basically a glorified office. With the help of the Wackford's manager -- a self-described "McHobo" who's worked for every chain along the strip -- Leon and his friends decide to protest by taking over the Wackford's and making it into a middle-management office. Meanwhile, Leon deals with an unwanted crush, a Mohawked father, and his friend Dustin's ongoing quest to take down the gym teacher via depressing poems. Nothing quite goes as expected, but that's the great thing about life in the gifted pool.