My Mother Is a French Fry and Further Proof of My Fuzzed-Up Life — Colleen Sydor

It makes Eli cringe when her mother comes home proudly dressed in a foam rubber French fry suit after her first day as a mascot for Burgers ?n' Fries. Families come in many forms in the animal kingdom, Eli's teacher had informed her. Sure, but ? French fries? How can her mother be so unembarrassable? When 15-year-old Eli Smyth isn't fuming over her mother's goofy jobs and total lack of inhibition, she's envious of Grace. Eli's best friend has two dads, both tres cool, and neither dresses up as fast food for a living. Maybe JG can understand. He's the boy in her class who shares her appreciation of rock band Decapitated Heads and also happens to have problems with his dad. Nobody's parents, though, are as wacko as Eli's mom. Everything she says and does drives Eli crazy. The too-frank sex-talks, the penchant for clothing that resembles flour sacks; the list goes on ? It seems her mom can't do much more to aggravate Eli ? and then gets pregnant. To Eli, there's nothing more disgusting than pregnancy. Now that her mother's puking her guts out most mornings and beginning to look like Jabba the Hut, what if she needs Eli's love and understanding? Will Eli be there for her?