Manship — Thom Nichols

It had to be the name. There is nothing else it could be. Crap what a name. Crap is a slider. A slider is a very impressive and pretty scary monster. It didn't make sense that the lowest of the lowlife monsters wanted to be around him. He'd just gotten rid of a vampire, the most substandard monster around, when a trio of their counterparts glue themselves to him. It is amazing that the human race feels that they need the profession of vampire hunter. It is probably just one of those minimum wage jobs that they hang on people that can't make it as a dishwasher or a ditch digger. It is hard to tell how to hold a hammer the right way up, but it is even harder not to accidentally kill a vampire. Receiving his most difficult assignment to date, Crap is plagued with three vampire hunters that think he is a vampire. It's ridiculous, but intelligence isn't a prerequisite when it comes to vampire hunting. Trying his best not to trip over the hunters, Crap tracks his prey all the way back to Cornucopia. Along the way he gets on the wrong side of the King under the Lake and a former vampire that wants to return to her monstrous ways. To top everything off, the President of the United States is trying to make a move on his girlfriend. The moon will never be the same.