Let's Be Pirates — Mark Sarney

The galaxy had it coming. Barry Spranker and his sharp-tongued crew won the biggest exploration race in galactic history. But the galaxy's suits stiffed him on the prize. Their excuse: a missed voicemail. He and his crew have to flee with only the sweatpants they're wearing. Well, sweatpants stuffed with stolen money, but still.Barry knows he can't beat the suits who wronged him. But he can humiliate them and go down quipping. Robbing a ship full of pizza seems like one small step for him and his outlaw crew. But it turns into one giant leap for the piracy industry.Who knew piracy was such a tough business? The suits want to catch him, the gangsters want to extort him, and the competition wants to kill him. When a daring raid promises to fling all these jerks off his back, he and his crew jump at it.The raid involves a motley pirate flotilla, a dim-witted double-cross, and a secret that will trigger clenched sphincters across the galaxy. The suits figure that vaporizing Barry and his meddling pirates will keep things quiet. But that really conflicts with Barry's plans for the future.The Starslider Rejects series is a sci-fi action comedy of smart retorts, angry gangsters, and fast-paced starship battles. Fans of heist films, Firefly, and The Big Lebowski will savor a world where Blues Brothers flips Star Trek the old middle digit.