Lemur — Tom Bradley

Damnation and Salvation in the American Food Services Industry Spencer Sproul is a would-be serial-killing bus boy who can't manage to murder, injure, or even scare anybody. He longs to follow in the footsteps of his heroes, Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy. Who wouldn't feel murderous working in a family style restaurant with an asshole boss, sadistic co-workers and Lemmy the Lemur as a mascot? But as hard as he tries he simply doesn't have a killer's instinct. However, there are ways to do damage to far more people and do it legally. Spencer learns that a family restaurant can be an instrument of torture, and quickly becomes a rising star in the food services industry. But before Spencer can take his seat of honor at the Merchant of the Month Award Banquet, he must bumble his way past a pederastic restaurant critic, a trash-talking sex worker, a cellulite-worshiping convenience store clerk, and a police force filled with homophobes, overeducated commies and greedy homicide detectives. It's an all-American success story