Hellbusters — John Salonia

WHENEVER THE POWERS OF DARKNESS ATTACK, WE'RE THE GUYS YOU WANT AT YOUR BACK! IF YOU HAVE GOBLINS, DON'T HAVE A COW, PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL US RIGHT NOW! Are devils, demons, zombies, vampires and other creatures of the night making your life hell? Then call HELLBUSTERS! We cover all emergencies, day and night . . . especially at night. Don't suffer at the paws (or feelers, or whatever) of these damned nuisances. The Hellbusters stand ready to eliminate all paranormal pests. Whether ghoulies or ghosties or long-leggety beasties. Remember our motto: WE BUMP OFF THE THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT. So much for the Yellow Pages ad. Now for some truth in advertising. Meet the Hellbusters: Neil Kemp â€" suave, handsome, lethal, and as irresistible to demons as he is to women; Freddy Farquhar â€" with the plump, innocent baby face of Lou Costello and the devious, scheming mind of Bud Abbott; Bill Collier â€" tough, resilient, and the only ex-Marine to win two Golden Globes and a Tony; and the beautiful and mysterious Turquoise â€" trained in all the secret lore of both East and West. The Hellbusters are our last bastion of defense against the powers of Hell! The serial killer who doesn't let a little thing like the electric chair slow him down; the resurrected mummy who wants to sacrifice the Hellbusters to the monstrous serpent-god he worships; the extradimensional mastermind who unleashes his deadly Shadow Men to conquer the world; the conflicted sorceress who tips the balance in the war between Hell and Earth the wrong way; the seductive ghost who lures her victims to a watery doom â€" and who has special plans for the Hellbusters; the vengeful zombie master who plans to become the world's greatest crime lord; the sinister drug that transports you to another world â€" literally; and more! "This comic mash-up of GHOSTBUSTERS and James Bond 007 delivers laughs and chills in a rollicking roaster-coaster ride." â€" LOCUS ON FANTASY