And then the heaven's opened up and said, “The Adventures of Jesus Christ is fun, hilarious, and unlike any Second Coming tale you've ever read before. This story is loaded with foul language and radical thinking that may not be suitable for “real” bible readers but I encourage you to take a leap of faith, open your mind, and let the good times roll.”
Lyle looked up to the sky, blinded by the light and said, “No problem. I got it handled.” Then reached for the bottle of wine.
“Now listen to me you pagans and “Sunday only” believers, let me tell you about my good friend, Jesus. My new best friend.”
Everyone stopped to listen.
Lyle took a swig of wine and cleared his throat. “Jesus' Second Coming is upon us.”
Lyle stopped, surprised anyone was even listening to him.
“He's come to save the true believers, but along the way encounters many unexpected obstacles that miracles and divine teachings may not be able to overcome.” He stopped once again, still surprised people were listening to him.
He took another gulp of wine and continued. “He'll first be perceived as a man with a mental illness. You will not take the stranger seriously and some will even think of him as no more than a hobo living on the streets. I know, I know. The Son of God, a hobo. But! He is able to recruit one follower, me, Lyle, and together we set off to fulfill God's will.”
“But where will you find those who are meant to be saved?” yells one man from the crowd.
Lyle thought about it. He wasn't so sure himself so ignored the question altogether and continued with his speech. “Jesus and me, Lyle, embark on an epic journey that ultimately leads us to sin city -- Las Vegas.”
The crowd cheers.
“Along the way, we meet Amish, doubters and boxers and encounter magic, death and fanatics between plenty of time to let our hair down by turning water into wine.” The crowd cheers again.
“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Now, please.” Lyle hushed the crowd. “Let me tell you our story.”
From the author: P.S. I must warn you. This series of four soul-saving books may be more entertaining than your Sunday sermon. It may even keep you awake. Though I can't guarantee any of what I say is true.
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