Drowning Fish — Matt James

THE AMAZON BESTSELLER "Beautifully written and full of emotion" ABOUT THE BOOK Drowning Fish is a powerful novella about loss and loneliness; about struggling with the modern malaise of disappointment and discontentment; but, ultimately, it is about survival. Richard Craven, struggling to come to terms with the death of his wife, lives a life without meaning: "He tore open his eyes and sat bolt upright in bed. It was four o?clock in the morning and sleep was murdered; he'd murdered sleep. His hair was wild with static and the pillow was chained to his face by a cord of silvery drool. He rolled out of bed, curled in a protective ball, and stalked to the bathroom where he studied his face in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and the blood vessels were kinked and twisted; there were gun-metal grey bags under his eyes that were heavy and ringed and flecked with bloodspots; his face had a sickly, jaundiced pallor; and there was a week's worth of stubble on his chin beginning to curl like pubic hair. He felt his bowels groan and air bubble in his gut. He clutched his stomach with outstretched palms, hands entwined in mocking prayer. An electric shock of pain rocketed from the back of his skull into his eyes. He clenched his fists, bowed his head and closed his eyes until the pain dissolved. It left a dull, nagging headache in its wake. He needed to escape." Meanwhile, Ben Newman is about to embark on a new life, leaving behind him a broken marriage and a broken promise to his grieving mother: "When his wife left him, Ben Newman felt winded. The bedroom door creaked open and he looked up from his crossword. His wife, Lucy, was standing in the doorway crying. She said she'd been sick. She said she felt hollow inside. He said, ?It'll be something you've eaten.? She said, ?I'm leaving you.? And that was that. She told him he took her for granted. She told him he didn't make her feel special. She told him he didn't love her. And she was right. Newman loved the idea of a relationship, he even loved the fights because they made him feel like he was a part of something. Something special. Something whole. But he didn't love Lucy. Not really. He simply didn't know how to love her because he'd never been taught. That?s why he didn't try to stop her leaving or try to win her back once she'd gone. That's why he watched her walk out of his life and watched himself become a half again." But, far from escaping his past, as Newman takes a train across Yorkshire, something tells him that he's being led into a trap. He hears something calling him through the darkness, pulling him through the storm; whatever it is, it's destined to bring Newman and Craven together in an tempestuous climax.