Diamonds, Detectives, and Dummies — Alan Thomas

What is Rusty willing to give up for riches and the love of his life? Actually, nothing. This small town detective juggles killers, drug dealers, and scheming deceitful women as he pursues his childhood dreams. And then there's the weird problem of a curse associated with his pants. Keeping them clean and keeping them on seems to be more about the curse than any woman trying to know him better. Rusty is a small town private investigator helping a client find stolen diamonds while fighting his greatest enemy-himself. The idea of keeping the diamonds and cheating on his girlfriend with his beautiful client might be much more fun. All this might have something to do with a guilt-ridden conscience that manifests itself in an imaginary train of death. If that's not enough to keep things interesting, throw in regular cat fights between two of his employees, a pet parrot with the vocabulary of a sailor, a slob, and a neat freak. All that pales in comparison while Rusty tries to hang on to the love of his life while pursuing a villain who defies description, although nut house and fruit cake come to mind. Ultimately, Rusty is looking for peace and fulfillment. Having an ex pimp and dirty cop for best friends may not be the best path to that goal.