Abandon Hope — Alan Tucker

My name is Darius Arthur Heisenberg and I'm an agent for a Keeper of Time who calls herself Sacrifice. I don't get paid, but I have my own room and all the nutrient mush I want to eat. My supervisor is a sarcastic computer I named Kim, and my instructors are a gruff, giant hamster and a slimy, tentacled blob, none of whom are quite sure why I was recruited in the first place. But, hey, people say it's the little things in life that are important. Take this disk I found, for example. It's no bigger than a quarter, yet it was the key to preventing billions of deaths on Earth in around two hundred years. Only problem is, now that I found it, it's not performing its task anymore and I have to fix it before everything I've ever cared about ceases to exist. Did I mention my job comes with more than a moderate amount of stress?