96 Tears — Doug J. Swanson

When Dallas PI Jack Flippo is hired by nouveau-riche millionairess Sherri Plunkett to find out who's stalking her daughter, he unwittingly signs on for a hard lesson in the Texas trash-talking two-step. Flippo thinks he's going to save Sandra Plunkett from kidnapping, but he's being stalked himself by two sleazy, comic thugs. He's got to make some connections before he ends up as the main course at a backyard barbecue.