The VMR Theory — Robert Frezza

On the lam from a vicious ex-wife who'd won everything but the kitchen sink in the divorce, Ken MacKay was a journeyman crew member on Rustam's Slipper, the sorriest scow ever to move cargo between stars.

Then in a low-class spacers' bar in a miserable town on a no-name world he met Catarina Lindquist, the kind of girl his mom had always warned him about. She had alabaster skin, platinum hair, and slender legs that went from here to there and back again via the scenic route.

Catarina's yen for Ken was almost as strong as her passion for chocolate. Alas, Catarina's obsession was infectious, and so was she. Soon, Ken also needed chocolate to control the symptoms of McLendon's Syndrome--they'd live damn near forever but they'd always have a Chunky' on their back.

Before long Naval Intelligence found a devious use for their mutual affliction: it assigned Ken and Catarina to the planet Macdonald, whose nonhuman inhabitants had a quaint theory about the true Secret Masters of the Human Race...