Flabius Flaximus and the Superstars of Antarctica — Michael Parker

A tale of high adventure and elevated absurdity, Flabius Flaximus, mighty warrior of ancient times, traverses the known world, from snowy Egypt to the deserts of Jamaica, in search of windmills and a set of plastic utensils capable of destroying the universe, or at least powering Cobra's weather dominator. Aided by a daring and/or deranged spy, a testy fairy and a singing cowboy, Flabius battles mythological sirens, Nazis, Klingons and flower girls as he tries to thwart an evil wizard from achieving his goals of global conquest and an all-expenses-paid trip to Disney World. And then there are footnotes.