Calamity Jayne and the Hijinks on the High Seas — Kathleen Bacus

What's a blonde pirate always looking for, even though it's right behind her? Her booty. Ahoy, mateys With her grandma wedded and bedded (ew ) Tressa Jayne Turner is looking forward to the weeklong cruise that follows. Good food. Warm beaches. Romantic sunsets. A swashbuckling ranger-type, Rick Townsend, who shivers her timbers. Nothing can take the wind out of "Calamity Jayne's" sails this time. Nothing, that is, except that this particular Love Boat has "Iceberg ahead " written all over it. Why? It's a lo-cal "biggest loser" cruise, Tressa's bad-boy faux fiance and his marriage-minded Aunt Mo are stowaways, and Tressa's barely got her sea legs before a dastardly murder plot bobs to the surface. It's a foul wind that's blowin' to be sure...and not from the exercise-obsessed passengers. Throw in one whale of a Bermuda love triangle, and Tressa knows just how Jack Sparrow feels when the rum is gone. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of V-8 Arrr (NOTE: This book was previously published under the title Anchors Aweigh.)"