THE CURSE OF CHAOS — Joe Vadalma

Chaos is the most enigmatic, mysterious and powerful of all the gods and goddesses. Only she can turn what is to what is not, make nothing of something and with the help of her servant Time, destroy all that is or ever will be. Thus, the heart trembles and the knees quake when this powerful and capricious goddess interferes directly in the affairs of humankind. Pity, therefore, the citizens of Retslu, a tiny kingdom ruled by an honest, just and liberal monarch, King Knight Black, whose only faults were muddle-headness, not an unusual trait in rulers of this land, and a tendency toward extravagance.

During his reign, the once proud and prosperous Retslu had become destitute. Several years of drought, wars with neighboring Neerg, poaching by the dreaded beast-things in the south and the reign of several incompetent and extravagant kings had left the kingdom impoverished. Near King Black's castle squatted an ancient venerable and hoary church. Presiding over this church is Bishop Faith, whose ambition is to replace the church with a tremendous cathedral. When two marriages are to be performed, the king throws a lavish masquerade ball, and the goddess Chaos appears, awarding Bishop Faith the prize for the best costume. When others ridicule her choice, Chaos curses the kingdom. The very next day, the royal treasurer, Screege, discovers that not enough gold is left in the treasure room to pay the king's bills.

Thus begins a hilarious serious of misadventures in the tradition of Diskworld and Xanth. In it you will meet Captain Blite, a pirate with an unusual buried treasure, the hapless knight, Lord Noise, who must hock the Royal Crown if he can survive the monsters that litter his path, the king of Atlantis and his troll, Turkle, Ping Pong, a monstrous gorilla, the witch, Wortisha, plus Lord Noise's slutty daughter, Hunkerina, Pancho Beastman, and many other crazy and irresistible characters.