Wet Dogs Can't Fly — George Booth

For years, George Booth was implored by others to, Shut up and write a book. And so he has, beginning with the all-important first line: I found my first dead guy when I was six. Born to a family of storytellers and big complainers, he takes creative license with tales of vacations gone bad, silly neighbors, holidays, jumping off a bridge, and a pair of missing shoes, while mixing in his take on the moronic behaviors of everyone else. With story after story, he entertains anyone who will sit still long enough to read it.