Flat Crazy — Ben Rehder

MYSTERIOUS CREATURE...
Being the final day of deer season, Blanco County game warden John Marlin shouldn't have any more on his mind than working his way through a cold six-pack. That's his plan until a screaming, half-naked immigrant named Jorge comes tearing out of the woods with one word on his trembling lips...Chupacabra! The mythical critter shouldn't be too hard to find, what with its vampire fangs, a lion's head, and the face of the devil...

MYSTERIOUS MURDER...
Marlin's hoping that Jorge's just gone simple. But if that's the case, then why the blood-drained corpse in the woods with puncture wounds on his neck? When national media descends locust-style, everyone decides to take advantage of the publicity, including two Chinese dwarves exploring a career in adult films, an enterprising car thief, a con man with an illegal-game scam, and a pair of bubbas with a loopy plan to capture the legendary beast. It's all Marlin can do to keep from going flat crazy himself--before another body turns up.