Eduardo Guadardo, Elite Sheep — Anthony Pearson

Eduardo Guadardo may look fluffy. He may look cute. But he's no little lamb. He's about to graduate from the FBI -- that's the Fairytale Bureau of Investigations -- as an Elite Sheep. He knows five forms of kung fu, and he can outfox the foxiest of foxes. In fact, he's so good they put him on his own case: to keep the farmer's daughter, Mary, safe from Wolf, Troll, and Witch. It's a job for somebody baaaaaaad -- someone like a soon-to-be Elite Sheep. The thing is, protecting Mary isn't quite as easy as Eduardo expected…

This imaginary backstory for “Mary Had a Little Lamb” is hilarious, action-packed, and filled with subterfuge (that means pulling the wool over your eyes, for you civilians).