Promoted — Mike Miller

For Hire: Highly ambitious, entry-level man-child eagerly seeks any occupation offering spectacular amounts of cash and power. Job requirements and responsibilities are irrelevant. Applicant is morally suspect, possesses low self-esteem, is borderline delusional and intellectually mediocre. However, applicant is also willing to engage in lying, theft, grift, sabotage, and other miscellaneous chicanery to further his career. For examples of applicant's tireless diligence and ruthless scheming, please review this rollicking satire of office life and career advancement for a lengthy list of sensational and ill-gained accomplishments.