The Fellowship of the Thing — John Salonia

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE THING, OR, FULL SPEED AHEAD AND DAMN THE PHOTON TORPEDOES: (NEWLY REVISED AND SUBSTANTIALLY EXPANDED FROM THE SOLD-OUT SCARLET SUCCUBUS PRESS LIMITED EDITION!) "The ultimate space opera spoof!" - Locus on Fantasy What is the mysterious Fellowship of the Thing? It's the wildest mash-up you'll ever read. Ever wonder what might happen if Conan the Cimmerian and James Bond were forced to share a mission? Bring together an obstinate organist, a cynical spy, a worried wizard, telepathic twins, an inquisitive anthropoid, an alluring actress and a bean-eating barbarian. Weld them into a crack team to fight a plague of voracious energy vampires created by a misguided alien race. Together, they form an elite corps on which the fate of literally everybody in the universe depends. The problem is, the members of the Fellowship can't stand each other - and they don't want to go . . . Their story is a wildly uninhibited comic thriller, chock-full of every preposterous ingredient from flying saucers manned (if that's the right word) by giant Amazons from outer space to Satan's South American playground, complete with demonic police out of Dante's Inferno. These mismatched characters form the unlikeliest team-up since the Three Stooges met Hercules. Add sinister clones animated by creatures like Maxwell's Demon with a sweet tooth for humans and a kinky werejaguar fond of transforming various body parts to surprise her lovers, and the result is the wildest roller-coaster ride you'll ever read!