Marrying Mom — Olivia Goldsmith

Phyllis Geronomous is witty, blunt, razor sharp - and the despair of her family. She's a senior citizen and an original, still trying to run the lives of her three grown children. As far as they're concerned, Phyllis's best attribute is that she's a Florida resident, while they live in New York. But then Phyllis decides that retirement and spending the holidays alone in Miami are not for her, and she's going to move back to the Big Apple. Sigourney, Sharon, and Bruce are horrified. They just can't let crazy Phyllis ruin their lives all over again. Murder is out - purely for practical reasons. And Christmas is unbearable enough without a visit from Mom - and what if she stays as she's threatening to do? Sig is a single, stylish, control-freak stockbroker who is terrified of her downsized professional and personal life; Sharon is a neurotic suburban housewife with two young children and an unemployed husband; and Bruce - the baby of the family - is a gay greeting-card entrepreneur whose business is folding faster than you can say "Queer Santa." Phyllis's arrival in New York will be the unraveling of them all. Only Sig has the ideal solution: They'll join forces and marry Mom off. Then she'll be someone else's problem. They call the plan "Operation Geezer Quest," but where are they going to find an old, deaf, dumb, blind, and, above all, rich groom?